Seeking Avalon

Good morning everyone! Well, that sounds arrogant, for all I know "everyone" is no one, but that's okay. 

I'm journeying along my path, and for the last several years I have changed in so many ways. Maybe I haven't changed, maybe it is that in the last 3 years I have finally allowed myself to be who I have always supposed to be- Me. 

Two years ago I began studying with The Sacred Mists, and I have met some of the most amazing women there and forged friendships that I truly see lasting for the entirety of my lifetime. As part of this training I have done several Deity Studies and a particular set of these set me down a path that I keep going back to and can't shake the call of..... the path to Avalon. I was learning about Blodeuwedd, actually I think I was looking for which deity to study and came across it, and there was a listing of the Goddesses of Avalon. It started simply enough, I thought how convenient there are five of them and I can do my next series of studies on these 5 Goddesses and make my life easier..... I didn't anticipate that from that moment, my life was already changing and I was being called to seek Avalon. 

As I learned  about the Goddesses as I learned their myths and vital statistics and tried to connect with them the sacredness of the endeavor became apparent. I wasn't able to connect with each, and I connected most strongly with Arianrhod, in a beautiful and profoundly altering way. But each study brought me back to learning of Avalon and wanting to learn more, and discovering things about myself, and that which I was unwilling to learn about myself. 

I have begun reading 2 different books, one as a self study and it is called Avalon Within: A Sacred Journey of Myth, Mysteries, and Inner Wisdom. It is fascinating from the beginning, talking of the Fruit of Wisdom the Five Seeds of Wisdom the Avalonian Cycle of Healing and the Sacred Landscape of Avalon. 

The Second book I have started is also a self-study book but I am reading and working through this book with a small group of women who I am on a path to get to know. It is called Circle of Stones: A Woman's Journey to Herself. From what I can tell it is about reclaiming your power and healing the hurts within so that you can ultimately aid others in doing the same and embrace the sacredness of being woman. I've read the preface, introduction and first chapter and I'm going to make myself slow down and think about this. The chapters or sections rather end with a probing question, and since the Preface is the first section to do this, I'm going to answer it as a "in the beginning I thought this" type thing, so I can track and see where my train of thought goes on this journey. 

"How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you, a place for you to go to be with your mother, with your sisters and aunts, with your grandmothers, and the great and great-great-grandmothers, a place of women to go, to be, to return to, as woman? How would your life be different?" -Judith Duerk, Circle of Stones

After reading the Preface to the novel this question placed here almost seems rhetorical, like we're supposed to think on it but not really have an answer yet. The rest of the book will be digging deeply into many facets of this question. But what if I could have spent time sitting and talking with the strong women around me. I was able to observe strong women, I was able to enjoy different moments with them and hear their stories. But my family has always been so far spread out, my two sisters who are also Wiccan have never lived near me, they living with their mom and me with mine. My mother is a strong woman but she was always trying to survive and provide. From her I learned about hard work and the importance of inner strength, but not really how to cultivate it. She is much stronger than I am,  I don't know how she did it. That might be it, if there had been this place where we could have truly come together and shared and spoke, I think I would be more confident than I am, that confidence would have been a given and not something that has been hard fought and sought after. I think I would have known from the earliest of days my value and worth and there are circumstances that I never would have found myself in. Is it possible that if this place with my mother and sisters and Aunts and the wiser women of my grandmother and great grandmother would have caused the ripple effect that I wouldn't have the children I have now, because I never would have settled for their fathers? A place to glean the wisdom of those who love me and want the very best for me.... yes, that would have changed my life, it still would change my life..... to be surrounded by strength and beauty, freely shared and wisdom freely passed on..... 

I'm really excited to be reading this book.... I'll be back to let you in on the answers to other questions as well. 

Many Blessings,

Wynter